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What ever is clever will have to wait
As I slip into a demented oblivion.
I am just a narcissist trapped inside the wreckage,
Delievered by these beconing silver moons,
Everything I give is wasted, I'm the one who's suffocated
The sympathy I had is gone, deadened by the ceremony.
The desire I have tasted poisoned by this ghost,
inside it knows that I have become jaded.
What I have given is wasted,
I'm the one who's sacrificed,
Nothing left but a tarnished goddess.
Everything I was is fighting to survive,
I am the one that is desecrated.
Justice can't take away my pain,
Will not resurrect my name.
My defiance will be the end of me.
EDS and infertility issues
Warning: harsh language, graphic descriptions.
It all started in March 2013; I went to my general practioner to write out a referral to the Fertility Clinic in Huddinge, Sweden. In May I was sent to a Ob/Gyn specialist in high risk pregnancies. She asked intrusive questions and send she would send me to another Ob/Gyn specialist to make sure I would be able to handle the pregnancy and the In-Vitro Fertilization Process.
In November 2013 this militan bitch said "You don't have type 4 so there is nothing stopping you, you have have 6 miscarriages, I see no reason why you can't get pregnant on your own". When had been trying at that point for
Morphine
These pains thrieve on your slumber like coma
spoken through sewn lips
directed through fiction.
Morphine is your flight
on wings of daisies
screaming to hold your bliss.
Romantic and cruel
darkened skies laugh
scolding hollowed eyes
Fighting fragmented valentines.
Beatting irratic
breathing calm
Judges point to a chemical highway.
Taste the way they live
live the way they die
These chemical romances.
Sleeping Frankensteins
Whatever you say
forgetting to be gripped in your tortured grin
letting the daisies sleep
sweet and blue runs like fountains
wrap the world around it
swollen, swallowed, loathing
boil it away
Here standing in your mind on a meat hook
You gave me this
made me silver
tarnishing the machine
Drifting in, broken me
Frankensteins scream missing the sway of your forked tounge
Coming undone to be whole again
Spinning around through howling moons
Here comes the lie
Your kind eyes.
Pleasing the paranoid
Warm sun that I am sinking in
Always close to drug
Always closer to the flame
building this wall to build you up
We are servants to this machanical way
You were this
You were that
Knowing of what you signed away.
Never alone,
living in your silver grin
Dont let the days go by
Yellow moon, regress
Not wanting to come down.
Thrown and torn,
the daisies scream
living in this black flood.
Cut me to size
slipping away into this cloud.
© 2013 - 2024 BendyDivine
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